Yes, it appears that in-between the pair collectively dating every man in Hollywood, going to rehab, being a newly wed, getting divorced, passing out in nightclubs, and making really, really, bad movies, they have also been replicated into  – well, how do we put it nicely? Oh, what a shame, we can’t - Sex Dolls!

Now before you scream ‘what’s new?’ let Savvy explain. We don’t mean ‘dolls’ as in a terminology for young ladies. 

Nor by Sex Dolls we are referring to those young ladies who happily shake what their mother gave them (which clearly wasn’t a high IQ!) in a promiscuous fashion to a multitude of eager men or, in some instances women.

After all, if the tabloids are to be believed (and in some cases they are) Lohan shakes what her mother gave her so much that an earthquake warning should be issued before she enters a venue! 

As for Jessica, well, her love-life isn’t as easy. She reportedly has a psycho stage-dad, Joe Simpson; she’s a divorcee, and John Mayer dumped her. Even in the media it seems that the poor girl can’t cut a break - it was only this week Mayer wrote a heartfelt message on his blog entitled “Dear Ex Lover” that according to the media “cryptically” talked to his part-time stalker slash ex girlfriend Jessica.

In Savvy’s opinion these so called journalists might want to look up the meaning of cryptic. What part of a man writing “ I don’t want you in my life anymore” is cryptic? You’d have to be an idiot not to get that message... Oh, now we get it!

So, let’s recap. By ‘Sex Dolls’ we mean the blow-up plastic dolls that lonely folk (read sickos) like to cuddle up to at various times of the day, and different styles of ways.  Produced by Pipedream Products, the line of celebrity inflatable toys is set to cater for the hard core fans, excuse the pun.

The range includes the 'Lindsay Fully Loaded Love Doll', which bears the slogan: "She's no love bug, she's a fiery red.” Wow, what a copywriter! 

And Jessica's 'Love Doll' sell reads: "She's sexy, newly single, and ready for you! “

Having your very own blow-up sex doll really does give a new meaning to the term over exposed.  I’d say when Jessica was looking to have a doll made in her image, she was thinking along the lines of a Jessica Simpson Barbie.

Ironically one of the new additions to the collection include Sex In The City star Sarah Jessica Parker aka ‘Horse Face’, who, if the glossies are to be believed, reportedly opened up about her pain and suffering after being voted “The World’s Most Unsexiest Woman” by a men’s website. You see,  SJP, that unsexy thing was just a load of hot air, literally.

Until next time, this is Savvy saying, as they now do in Hollywood, it’s all fun and games until someone turns you into a Sex Doll. 

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Fast Facts

Lindsey Lohan

Famous For: Going to Rehab; wearing nothing but lycra tights; constantly being orange from spray tan; having her own blow up Sex Doll; being a man eater. Having a scary stage mum!  

Movies: The Parent Trap; Herbie Fully; Loaded; Mean Girls; Georgia Rules.


Jessica Simpson

Famous For:  Getting married; getting divorced; confusing chicken with tuna; being blonde; making bad movies, singing bad songs, really bad songs. 

Movies: Blonde Ambition; Employee of the Month; The Dukes Of Hazzard; The Master Of Disguise.


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All images, text and information is sourced from web sites deemed to be in the public domain.