My Diary

(Or, what I did while you were freezing your butts off in the North American Winter)

Still settling in here at Cancun, Mexico, home of Ujena Bikini Jam. The name says it all. Yes, I am a lucky boy – Santa was very, very good to me this year.

Features? Bikinis, small swimwear, bikinis, a few hard-body guys (have to keep the models entertained), and… did I mention bikinis?  Enough, I am here for the culture. More specifically, I am here, paying close attention to the cultural phenomenon that is Congo Bongo.

Tuesday. Later that evening.

Finally met Ujena’s Bob Anderson, photographer extraordinare and the man behind the scenes. Great guy, always has four ideas up his sleeve and three models in tow. You have to like an ideas man.

Set my alarm early - first business of the day is the sunrise photo shoot. Bikinis first thing in the morning (because I firmly believe that it’s never too early for bikinis). And, of course, the sunrise over Cancun. I got a nice picture of the sunrise, although I may have to delete it to make room for more bikini shots.

Feels like half the day is already gone. I wonder how I’ll stay up till the wee hours again. Caffeine is most certainly in order before the fat lady sings.

A model named Jill Hardin offered to pose for my camera. I chatted up (sorry, with) Jill and found out this former Northern Californian used to work as a gym teacher, which included teaching health, which included teaching sex education to boys and girls. I asked her if there were any scandals in her past and she said the only thing was getting teased because ‘Hardin’ became ‘Hardon’ in most classes. Oh, those wacky kids! Jill ended up in Costa Rica and hasn’t left since. She speaks fluent Spanish.

Shot with a raven-haired Martha G. She said she got into modeling after seeing a TV special about Ujena on the Travel Channel. She assures me that once of the main incentives for her to become a Ujena staff model was to participate in the 5K runs. Seriously.

Martha said one of her most embarrassing modelling adventures occurred during what they call the Best Shot Challenge. Basically, models and photographers have one minute to shoot in different outfits. Nobody can help the models change into or out of bikinis. No prizes for knowing where this story is going. Yes, Martha lost her top at one of these, but she assures me that she caught it before the camera clicked in her in a compromising position.

I saw that the Best Shot Challenge was on the schedule for the afternoon and began praying that Martha would have slower reflexes this time.

Food. Wolfed down a burger and fries. Daylight’s wastin’ so back to it…

Finally did the girl on the beach shoot* with a model named Andria Lea. She was later spotted posing in the pool with a mermaid’s tail.

*Hey, I never said I had to be original, just that I’d give you some pretty pictures.

The first of three torrential rainstorms soaked us. There was rumor of a split ends epidemic.

The Best Shot Challenge finally arrived. Sadly, Martha’s reflexes were still good when she had another near-incident. There was a blonde haired girl on the beach walking around topless, and not one bit phased by the 10,000 guys carrying cameras with huge telephoto lenses (myself included).

For the second year in a row, Keith McNulty won the Best Shot Challenge. He tied with photographer Amber Snow but won the creative category.

The first beer of the busy day is calling my name. I cross my fingers in the hope that it will be the first of many. My new best friend at the bar, whose name I can’t remember, joked about the large-breasted models roaming about, and drunkenly proclaimed herself the ‘President of the itty-bitty titty committee!’ Nice to meet ya, Prez.

Met the local media covering Ujena Jam at a Media Martini Mixer at The City Cancun nightclub. Tried to convince a local news anchor to trade in her conservative outfit for a bikini and chase that million dollar dream. Something tells me she’s thinking about it…